Coping With A Loss
How to Help Yourself Cope
Here are some things that have proven
helpful for those who have survived the loss
of a loved one. Perhaps they will help you,
too.
- Take time to grieve. There's no way to
rush recovering from a loss, nor can you
push away your feelings forever.
- Find people to talk to, who can
understand, and let them be
there for you. Allow yourself to ask others
for what you need. Use support groups or
professional counseling services.
- Write a letter or make a tape to express
unspoken feelings and to say good-bye.
- Be kind to yourself; allow yourself
feelings and concern, without being
judgmental. Forgive yourself. It's natural to
feel "crazy" at times.
- Don't expect too much of yourself too
soon.
- Avoid making major decisions and
changes in your life. Some consistency,
routine, and predictability are helpful when
you feel in chaos.
- Get help for practical needs -- paying
bills, home repairs etc., or ask someone to
assist you in getting help.
- Try to take care of each day, each task,
each problem as it comes -- live day by day --
and feel good about just getting through
each day. Set small goals.
- Collect memories of the person who
died. Talk to someone about your memories.
Commemorate the person on important dates
and anniversaries in a special way.
- Grieve for the lost dreams, hopes, and
expectations. They are just as real for you as
the physical person you lost.
- Take time off from grieving, when you're
ready, to do something enjoyable or
celebrate someone else's happiness.
Continue doing things you enjoy.
- Take care of yourself physically,
mentally, and emotionally.
- Get enough sleep, nutrition, support;
draw solace and strength from faith, art,
music, and the love and support of others.
Exercise can help release tension, vent anger
and allow feelings to emerge in a
constructive way.
- Trust that the pain will decrease and life
will be better.
- Explore and participate in religion, faith,
and spirituality as a resource for hope and
support.
